Teaching Trials and Tribulations 3

Now that the end of term has come and I have come to the end of my sharp learning curve, I can at last share some of my difficulties and how I have overcome them.


Now and then

PE with Prep/One (Senior Infants/First)

Now: I bring a bottle of water to all P.E. classes as do the kids. We leave all our bottles in the shade and have regular breaks for drinks. During these breaks a small number of pupils also take a toilet break.

Then: “What do you mean you want a drink of water? Didn’t I tell you to have a drink before you came out! You can’t go to the toilet, it’s too far away and I can’t mind you. I have a pain in my tummy too and I also want my mammy!”

Now: “Jack, you need to stay in the rectangular area.”

Then: “You, what’syourname? What’s his name? Get back into the square. I know it’s not a square but don’t you be giving me cheek!”

Now: I remember to get the equipment ready beforehand, sometimes with the help of Grade Six.

Then: “Now we will have a bean bag relay. Sorry someone forgot the bean bags and hula hoops. Let’s go for a run around the oval. Who left the gate open? Come away from the open gate!” When I did remember to go to the PE store, it was often locked and I did not always remember my key.

Now: “When I tip you, you run and bring one hula hoop back to me. …and you…and you…”

Then: “You, what’syourname? Will you collect the hula hoops for me and bring them to the PE store?” Five minutes later while we are all having lunch back at the classroom I notice that ‘what’shisname’ is missing and run back to the oval to find him still tripping over the hula hoops. He gets nine of them together and just when he puts the tenth on, half of them fall and he has to start all over again. If he does get them together after about three paces he trips over them. He was nowhere near the PE store.

Now: I give all my instruction in the Queen’s English.

Then: ‘Siúlaigí, ‘stopagí’ ‘Seasaigí I mbeirteanna’ ‘Na déan é sin’ ‘Gabh mo leithsceal,’ ‘Cad a dúirt mé?’ ‘O a Dhia is a mháthair bheannaithe…’

Now: I use prompt cards to remind me of the sequences.

Then: “Good, now we will do… panic, what comes next who knows of a good game. Whatshisname. good man. What’s it called? ‘sharks and fish’ how does it go? Holy God above in heaven the sharks are not supposed to bite the fish!”

Now: line up and let’s go.

Then: “Line up in twos. Find a partner. Get into line. No, you can not be my partner, find your own! Go back to the end. No not you, you have a partner. Come back, we are not going anywhere until everyone lines up in twos!”

Now: I use strategies that the teachers have established rather than my own.

Then: “Remember that this is a PE lesson but it is still a lesson and I have no problem with you enjoying yourselves (lie!) but when teacher talks everyone must listen. What did I say? What did I say? Did you not hear me when I said that when teacher talks you all must listen? Whatsyourname! I’m talking you should be listening and herself beside you also whatsherneme? Okay stand out for not listening and I don’t care about the pain in your tummy or your mammy!”

Now: “One two three look at me. One two look at you.”

Comment: Major difficulties caused for me by not knowing their names. I take about 120 kids a week and PE is most difficult as it is done outdoors in the heat, with all the children wearing hats, so that the few names that I do remember I cannot recognise them under the hat. On a windy day the hats can blow off and we have to chase them down and start all over again. I was strict with the first class and they started crying and wanting to go to the toilet and wanting their mammies. When I was nice to them they ate me for breakfast. So I spoke to Paul O Connell and learned to ‘put the fear of God into them!’ Did twice as much prep to keep the lessons interesting and moving and I am now really enjoying them-well mostly.

Water is essential as both the kids and I get dehydrated very easily. I have not taught for over ten years and have forgotten all my little strategies and gap fillers. One class takes the full 45 minutes and the next class are finished in half the time and I am struggling in the sun with nothing to do. I spend ages preparing the lessons and cannot remember the sequences. Even with the prompt cards I often cannot remember what the prompt means.

Note: No children or animals were damaged in the research undertaken for this article.

Note 2: They are lovely kids. They are not the problem. I am the problem.